Take a Deep Breath

This is my life lately.

Baby in his pjs all day, kids making me crazy, and Mom Hat.

June 29th 2018 I am finally able to come up for air.

I’ve spent the last 6 months in the trenches. Fighting for my relationship with my kids.

Fighting for my relationship with my husband.

Fighting to find my way back to my path.

I haven’t answered a lot of phone calls. I’ve missed out on every single Mom Date invitation. We DID make it to one birthday party…. late.

My camera is dusty and neglected. I haven’t felt very excited about anything except “Make it to June”

June came and went …. and I’m still here.

June DID give me what I’ve been praying for… dinner as a family. The kids were thrown off. Noah didn’t know how to just sit. NJ was excited to have everyone looking at him for once.

Today is a take a breath day. For me and you.

It’s a day to realize it’s not a countdown to The End. It is a journey filled with ups and downs, flat tires and hours at Walmart, and late night wrestle sessions.

Our journey has taken us into a new family with a new baby and new job opportunities.

July 1st I’m picking up my camera and taking a picture of the first thing I see (most likely coffee and the eyes of a 15 month old).

July 1st I’m grabbing all the fireworks. Just kidding… some of the fireworks.

July 1st I’m planning to reconnect with my best friend. That guy I said “I Do” to.

July 1st I’m going to call that friend I cancelled on.

Take a deep breath and keep swimming.

It’s not perfect.

It’s life.

I’m here to write another day.

I’ll take it.



Hit the Road 2017

Another year gone by.

To be honest, it has felt like a runaway freight train. No breaks, no problem.

Party of 5 to Party of 6.

Delivery. Bringing a new baby home. Relocating. Drowning. Going back to work quick (because I’m a workaholic).

Saying goodbye to our Old Lives, climbing into that cocoon, and becoming a butterfly.

Was it easy?

Was it exhausting?

You bet.

BUT you can’t get wine unless you stomp a few grapes.

This baby changed our lives. He changed my life. He pushed me towards my purpose. He has tested my threshold for patience. He has made me love my OG Birds a lot more.

They also don’t tell you, in the Newlywed Guide to Happiness, that Year 1 is NOTHING. Year 2 is where you both earn your stripes.

The key?

Throw out the pretty Guide and dig in. Get dirty. Get emotional. Get connected.

I look to next year with my usual optimism. Because that’s who I was created to be. But I feel a little fire.

It could mean I say “sorry” 12 less times in 2018.

It could mean I say “thank you” when given a compliment.

It could mean taking a leap in my personal career and not feeling Mom Guilt.

Who knows.

I’m glad this bucket gets emptied at 11:59. This time I think I’ll keep a little for posterity.

My Favorite Baby

I have been struggling to write this blog for about 2 weeks. With moving and school starting… I haven’t really wanted to sit down and focus.

I’ve been living with this feeling that I actually have a favorite child. It made me laugh at first. Then I was sad. Then I felt super Mom Guilt. So let’s dive in…..


The Trio is super into talking about their lives now that NJ is here. Everyone wants to know about their milestones and cute little stories. Gulp!

Out and about someone asked if NJ was teething.

I answered “No he actually JUST figured out how to suck his thumb”

The next question was “Did your other kids suck their thumbs”

Que awkward silence

I had a Bad Mom moment.



Flashback to 2007 … newborn, new marriage, 21 years old. I probably snuggled the kid too much and took lots of nostril pictures. Sorry not sorry.

Flashback to Fall of 2009 … I had an extremely active 2-year-old and an infant. Lots of resentment and anger and sadness.

Flashback to 2011 … I had a misunderstood 4-year-old, a sensitive 18 month old, and a newborn. New state far away from family, one kid starting school and being diagnosed with a learning disorder, and no sleep.


The Trio circa 2011


If it weren’t for the Internet I wouldn’t remember a thing. I couldn’t tell you when CJ rolled over. I couldn’t tell you how much Dylan slept as a baby. I honestly don’t recall much of Adele’s first year other than she was covered in tulle and ribbon.

I came to the realization that NJ is the first baby I can actually experience.

It made me feel awful. Like I was picking favorites.
Because let’s be real, every Parent has a favorite. In their own ways all of my kids are my favorite. Man I would be a good politician 😉

I know when he slept through the night.

I know when he rolled over.

I know his personality at 3.5 months old.

I know he prefers his hands to any toy.

I know he likes Anime in Japanese.

I ALSO know I didn’t “screw up” any of my older ones. That rhetoric needs to take a long walk off a short pier.

I just wasn’t in the moment with them. I wasn’t fully aware and excited about my role in their lives beside “the caretaker with the boobs”.

So problem solved…. NJ is my favorite baby. But he isn’t my favorite child. Because that’s impossible.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Back To School… Again

It’s the most wonderful tiiiiiiiiiime of the year!


This summer felt so long and drawn out and never-ending and all of the words that describe being with your children in 900 square feet of amazingness.


With the move with question was whether we would be changing schools.

Answer is .. No.

I think it’s really important (especially for Dylan) to have consistency. The Trio have been in a constant state of flux since 2014. I know as an Adult I need some “same” so for sure mini humans need it too…. right?

I figured I would have at least one child that was apprehensive about leaving Mama. ONE child that would cling to my arm fiercely while looking for their safe place. ONE OF MY OFFSPRING that would play into my Mama Bear Ego.

not. a. one.

Eldest Spawn actually disappeared.

Middleborn was embarassed by pictures.

Princess Peach wanted nothing to do with me and just wanted to play.

Le sigh


So here’s to another year of good challenges. Another year of being The World’s Okayest Mom.  Maybe I’ll even join the PTO.

I hear y’all laughing. 

Happy School Days to my fellow parents in the trenches.

Summer Is (Almost) Over

Oh Em Gee do I wish my lovely, adorable, non mess making children were back in school this week. Arizona has cuckoo school schedules starting and stopping all over the place … of course mine don’t start for another 8 days.

This summer has been….. well a summer. Every year during the last day of school, I vow to have a “Summer of Fun”. All of the crafts. All of the adventures. All of the trips. All of the Pizza Movie Nights.

This summer we had a newborn, oven like temperatures, and another move (remind me to stop leasing in July).

Birthdays were had. Let me tell you I am DIGGING this minimalist lifestyle. One day, one friend, and one parent. Praise sweet baby Jesus.

We did attempt slime.

We did watch Star Wars.

We did enjoy eachother’s company. For the most part.


We did Summer.

Bring on school!!!!!!!

That Day After Mother’s Day


Sometimes Dads get a bad rap.

Bonus Dads get the shaft as well.

BELIEVE ME being a Mom is a lot of pressure, expectation, and nights up with sick/hungry/ornery kids.

But Dads are up most of those nights… pretending to be sleep…. trying to figure out how to guide the family, feed the family, keep the family alive, and maintain the calm “I got this because I’m a MAN ” exterior.

Noah has done hard things the last 2 years. Personally he has climbed mountains. Emotionally he has traveled galaxies. He smiles more, makes amazing Dad jokes, and truly thinks about his impact on my children. On HIS children.

Here’s to you Dad. Enjoy your mini humans today. Get ready those surprised faces at the handmade cards. Don’t forget to hug your partner because they worked REALLY hard to keep your gifts a secret (read: children who don’t understand the meaning of surprise).
Remember the children go to you because of that awesome level of trust you’ve built AND that universal rule that “What Mom doesn’t know won’t hurt her” 😏


Happy Father’s Day to you my love. You are doing the hard things.


Grace: Take some and pass it on

Ever have a day that feels like it belongs in a heavily scripted reality show?

That is about 60% of my days. Maaaaaybe a smidge closer to 80% on a good day.

Some days I feel like I’m OWNING it. Kids wake up nice, I manage an entire hamper of laundry for 3 humans, read my devotional, feed the baby, AND remember to feed myself.


Some days I feel like it’s Freaky Friday and I’m the kid in Mama’s fabulous body. Everyone watches TV, attempts to recreate every Star Wars battle scene, the dog almost gets lost, the baby screams all day, and then it’s 6 and husband is asking “What do you want to do for dinner”. Bless his heart


Sour Patch


Could we not….


First Born = Well trained 

In these moments… every one of these moment… good and hilarious. Parenthood is the only job you are given without applying or having any previous experience. Motherhood is TOUGH. It can feel lonely, overwhelming, unbelievable at times but the pay off is SO worth it. I think. I hope. We will see 😂
I have been reminded this week that we all need a LOT of grace.

It’s not by my own power that I wake up every day and handle these Minions.

It’s not by my own batteries that I make it through every day.

In those overwhelming moments when I feel like everything is crashing down … I have to remember (and sometimes say out loud) I am a rockstar, I am awesome, I am more than enough.

His grace is more than enough to cover all my shortcomings.

All those times I wasn’t so patient. Those days I give up and say “ice cream for breakfast”.

it is TOTALLY okay to reach out and say “today is rough” to your Village.


So I will power through those days. I’ll hear my friends who are struggling and lift them up. I will practice patience when my children spill an entire canister of grits on the kitchen floor and look at me to clean it up.

Sweeping builds character 😏


Destination Unknown 

It’s been a while. I apologize but you know birthing a human takes a lot out of you. 

Chibi Noah (not Jr because Dad has a thing lol) was born swiftly on April 20th. After 3 … yes 3 trips to the hospital and 3… yes 3 times being sent home. 

He is a tiny, wrinkled, grumpy ball of love. We were already complete but he is our whipped cream, sprinkles, AND hot fudge. Hungry now? I sure am

I am now a part of the 4 Club. Noah is now a Dad of 4. We are a blended family is epic ness. 

And no one is sleeping. 


My body has turned into a Super Milk Factory. My nurse commented that I was producing enough for twins. I don’t have twins. I have a 6 pound ball of fluff. So long and thanks for all the fish. 

Dad is sleeping so light you’d think he was waiting for Zombies to appear. First Time Newborn Dad Life. 

The Trio enters my room with bated breath every morning. Anticipating the newest adorable thing their baby brother will do. 

Did I mention I forgot what sleep was? Oh I did… my apologies. 

Life marches on. We are all finding our lanes. Mine is recovering my entire physiology but whatevs. 

I don’t know where we’re going but I foresee many bathroom breaks, detours, and hilarious rest stops along the way. 

I Did A Thing… 

So you’ve had a baby. 

You enjoy your 48 hours away from your children. You revel in the 24 Hour Bouncing Service (Nurses don’t get the credit they truly deserve). You wake up to HOT food 3 times a day. 

Then it’s time to be released back into the fray. Baby in tow. 

Your looking good on the drive home. Then Day 3 hits. All Hell breaks loose. 

Why did I birth a human?

Why did I leave the hospital?

Why can’t there by lifetime epidurals?

So today on Week 2 Day 2 (as my life has become a weird version of Star Trek) I did a thing. One of the most asinine, odd, and ridiculous things ever designed. 

I took a sitz bath. 


This 2-3 inches of warm water has solved my world problems, made the pain bearable, and renewed my outlook on life. 

Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it folks. 

Family Vacation. 2016 Style.

I am not an outdoors kinda gal but man do I love being hidden among the trees. I wanted to take the family up to Northern Arizona and hide out for Christmas. Mr was not having that soooo compromise we went for a weekend in early December.


I was convinced there would be snow. It’s December in Northern Arizona. OF COURSE there would be snow.

And then there was a freak warm-up. Which equals no wintery snowfall for the bunnies. Such is life.

Now I will be completely transparent … before getting married I would not have ever entertained the idea of being outside of the Metro Phoenix Area. I loved the sounds, busyness, and hustle and bustle of life.


Then I 2015 hit me with a ton of bricks and I realized my heart craved wide open spaces (Hey there Dixie Chicks) and air to breathe. I guess it helped that Noah is an outdoor enthusiast lol

Thankfully I was able to find a pseudo cabin (read Wifi and Flat screens) So everyone was happy.

Positive: It was cold enough to save a patch of snow. So at least we (the kids) could get nice and cold 🙂


Ending 2016 the way we started was important to me.

This year was full of curve balls but we are still one.